Today I went to the store. I wanted to exchange the largest bottle of teriyaki sauce I have ever seen. I had very specific instructions regarding the brand to replace it with and I had no idea how to go about doing it. Knowing what little I did, I got into the customer service line behind Mr. Creepy-Stringy-White-Hair-And-Bald-Spot, soon Mr. Scary-Just-Walked-Into-A-Column joined us. Based on what little I knew about customer service I assumed the service rep. would be in a dreadful mood and would try to bite my head off despite my simple request and valid receipt. After Ms. Bag-Full-Of-Thing-To-Return was done and Mr. Creepy-Stringy-White-Hair-And-Bald-Spot was done with his transaction (it involved a piece of white paper and a couple dollar bills) it was my turn to approach the dreaded CSR. I think she could tell I was an exchange n00b and she was nicer than I thought and everything seemed to be going well until the topic of the replacement product came up. No one had thought to tell me that I should bring that way with me too so I ran off looking for teriyaki sauce (which, apparently, is a condiment) only to find that I couldn’t find the right brand. Dejectedly I returned to the line and told her I just wanted a refund. She asked me if I had the credit card that had been used– no one had thought to provide me with that either. I told her ‘no’ and I could tell she was starting to dislike me. Then she asked if I had a penny– no one in their right mind would think to provide me with one. Once again I told her I didn’t and she sighed and gave me my $4.99 and made me sign and put my phone number on a little piece of paper. I then went on to shopping bliss (except I forgot to buy bread) but now I have to return a paintbrush….