As I see it, there’s only two possible reasons you’d want to contact me. Logically, let’s begin with numero uno, what I like to call “The Cheque Scenario”.
You’re surfing the blog-o-sphere (it’s like the blogosphere, except classier). Suddenly you happen upon a blog– End Kvetch. You read; you pore1 over the sage knowledge. Amazingly, your bad back is cured, the toxins have been sucked from your skin and the dark circles under your eyes have disappeared. You are in shock (but not in a post-traumatic stress disorder kind of way). You run to the mailbox, and using your recently acquired super strength, you pop it open like a can of sardines. You sift through the various parcels and envelopes and find the one that you, just that morning, addressed to “Mindy’s Miraculous Mud: Guaranteed to alleviate back pain, draw impurities from the skin and eliminate under-eye circles in mere weeks” (you didn’t actually write all that stuff about back pain though, that’d just be overkill). You rip the envelope open with your teeth and remove you
check cheque to the aforementioned hippy company. You then proceed to eat it. You then whip out your chequebook and craft a new cheque payable to Mr. Somatic Gnome of some place, somewhere, (some time?). You stuff it into a handy, business reply envelope already addressed to Monsieur Gnome then weld together the mail box with your eyes before popping the cheque in. You walk away, satisfied that your $44.95 (plus S&H) isn’t going to some hippy…or her mud.
I imagine numero twono would probably have something to do with nominating me for a nobel prize (we accept nominations for all categories). In this case (or if they invent eCheques anytime soon) you can email me at:
In fact, even if you just sent a regular old cheque you should email me so I remember to send a nice eThanks or maybe just a normal thank you (but don’t be sitting at the mall box waiting for it all day).
If email isn’t your cuppa tea, here are some other, extra hip ways to get in touch:
1 pore |pôre| verb be absorbed in the reading or study of (as opposed to the kind that Mindy’s Miraculous Mud is guaranteed to shrink and purify within 3-8 weeks).